Month: April 2013

The following are selected questions and answers from Aboo Rawaahah ’Abdullaah Ibn Eesaa al-Mawree’s published questions to Shaykh ’Ubayd al-Jaabiree on the topic of polygamy.

[Q.5]: Some people of knowledge exclude from the impermissible backbiting (gheebah), the backbiting a woman commits against her co-wife, so what is the ruling concerning that?

[A.5]: First of all we say: where did they derive that exception from? It is incumbent that this be supported with evidence for indeed the origin of backbiting is that it is impermissible. Also, backbiting is not permissible except when a legislative matter cannot be achieved except by way of it, and one does not go beyond what needs to be mentioned out of necessity. So until today, I do not know of any evidence that permits a woman to back bite her co-wife, meaning out of oppression and transgression. However, if it is due to a defect regarding her Religion, whether this defect necessitates fisq (i.e. being a rebellious sinner) or kufr (disbelief), then she (i.e. the co-wife) is like everyone else and should be warned against and there is no problem with this.

Also, I just now remembered his statement (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) to ’Aa‘ishah (radiyallaahu ’anhu) when she said, “It suffices you regarding so and so that she is short.” She meant by this: Safiyyah, may Allaah be pleased with all of them. He (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, “Indeed, you have said a word, if it was mixed with the sea it would have changed its odor and taste.” [1]

He (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said this, or close to this meaning.  At any rate, back biting is impermissible and nothing is excluded from this except what constitutes necessity as we previously mentioned.

[Q.13]: Is it necessary that each wife have a bayt shar’ee and what are the conditions of this type of house? [2]

[A.13]: A separate house specific for the wife is from her legislated rights. Because of this the people of knowledge have said that one should not have two wives in one house, meaning in a small house which is one dwelling; except if they both agree. You find some people who place each wife in their own room, but if they agree to this there is no objection. However the origin is that each of them has their own separate house in which she does not have to share with anyone, except perhaps his or her family members and other than them who may visit, and their affair is well known. But again, this house belongs to her and she possesses the keys and she does in it the likes of what women normally do in their homes. Also the bayt shar’ee differs according to different circumstances and different customs. Custom plays a part in this. You find that the dwelling of the Bedouin women is not like the dwelling of the city women. Even the types of dwellings of the city women differ.

Also the condition of the husband should be examined and what he is able to afford. Because of this we advise the men not to marry women who are above them in social status; meaning from the aspect of wealth and money. He therefore should seek a woman similar to him in social status or a class lower.

[Q.14]: Perhaps the first wife acquired jewelry and furniture from her husband over a long period of time, so is it obligatory for him to give to the second wife the likes of what the first has of furniture and jewelry?

[A.14]: The first wife has preceded in marriage with the husband and has previously received things before the co-wife came along. So due to this long relationship, she acquired things of jewelry and furniture, so it is not required of him that he gives the second wife all of this; because the first received what she received due to her long marriage. So if he wants to be equal and just regarding both of them as Allah the Mighty and Majestic commanded, he must start this from the time of marriage (i.e. when he took on the second wife). Meaning, whatever comes about in the future (he must be just). However, as far as the past, he is not commanded to make the second equal to the first.

[Q.17]: A man wants to get married and he already has a wife. However, he is afraid that some family problems may occur between him and his first wife, keeping in mind that by him taking on a second wife will protect him from evil and fitnah (i.e. fornication etc…), so which of these two harms are greater?

[A.17]: I say in response to this: polygamy is the right of the man just as Allaah commanded,

“Marry the women that you like, two, three or four.” [Sooratun-Nisaa‘ 4:3]

So it is a right of his and she has no right to prevent him. Also we previously said that if she dislikes that, meaning she does not like that her husband marries a second, this is from her fitrah (natural disposition), but it is not permissible that she harms him in his self or his wealth. As for what the questioner thinks, that problems will occur between them, this matter in reality returns to him. If he is able to solve his problems and to suffice each of them (their needs) so that the first will have nothing to say about the second (this should be done). For example, that he makes both of their homes far apart, this will be something recommended in this instance.

Also the questioner mentioned that polygamy will protect him from fitnah. What is apparent is that the first wife is unable to keep him chaste and this is that which emphasizes the obligation of polygamy upon him. However, just to keep good relations, he should make her feel good and speak to her in a soft manner and also show her that he did not get a second wife because he doesn’t desire her anymore, nor because she is falling short in her duties; rather because it is a matter which Allaah legislated so he wants to enjoy what Allaah made permissible for him. Also, he should promise her that he will not deprive her of her rights and he will not fall short regarding her. Also he promises her that he will (continue) to maintain good relations with her and he will not forget her good companionship to him. He should mention these goodly words; but if she stubbornly resists and he sees himself capable of being just and that polygamy will keep him chaste, let him take another wife and let him not worry about her.

[Q.18]: A woman harms herself when her husband takes another wife, so if the husband does this (i.e. takes another wife in this instance) is he sinful?

[A.18]: No, never, she is sinful and this is his right! And in reality this shows the weakness in her Religion.

[Q.19]: What is the ruling on the one who sees that by often mentioning to his wife that he will take on another wife, in this is a preparation in order to lessen the problems when the marriage actually takes place? Or is it better that he remains silent and does it when she does not expect it?

[A.19]: My opinion is that it is best that one is balanced, and this is by him not speaking to her about polygamy, lest he may hurt her feelings. However, when he is ready, he speaks to her in a good, soft way, just as preceded. Also he should make her beautiful promises and fulfill those promises. Likewise he should fulfill with her that which he was already accustomed to doing with her in having good dealings. As for just surprising her with this (i.e. getting another wife), I do not see this to be correct.

[Q.20]: Is it a condition to have the permission of the wife before one takes on another wife? Also if they (i.e. her family, walee (guardian), etc.) make a condition upon him not to take on other wives, does he fulfill that condition, although he fears for himself fitnah and becoming sinful?

[A.20]: As for him seeking her permission, then we have already spoken about this (in a previous question) so there is no need to repeat. As for making a condition upon the man that he does not take on a second wife, the most correct opinion is that it is a shart baatil (an invalid condition) because it is not found in the Book of Allaah. [3]

[Q.22]: If one of the wives does not cook lunch for her husband or other than that, is it then permissible for him to go to the other wife’s house and eat there?

[A.22]: This affair should be examined. If the wife was able to cook or buy food then in reality she is negligent and he has the right to go and eat at the other wife’s house. However, if a matter intervened that did not allow her to prepare the food and was out of her hands, he is not allowed to go to the other wife’s house. Rather, he should buy food for everyone or give her some time to allow her to cook.

[Q.27]: O Shaykh – may Allaah preserve you – some people claim that the only obligation upon the wife is to give herself intimately to her husband, and it is not incumbent upon her to take care of the house, clean and carry out her husband’s needs?

[A.27]: This is another matter – may Allaah bless you – the woman should take care of the needs of her husband according to what is done customarily amongst the people (i.e. of her land, tribe, background etc.).

Endnotes:
[1]: Saheeh: Related by Aboo Daawood (no. 4875) and at-Tirmidhee (2/82), Ahmad in al-Musnad (6/189) and at-Tahaawee (2/19).  It was authenticated by al-Albaanee in Ghaayatul-Maraam (no. 427).
[2]: A bayt shar’ee is the house usually found in Arab countries where a part of the house consists of a majlis (large living room) and the bathroom is sectioned off from the main part of the house with a separate entrance in order to avoid mixing when either the wife or husband has guests, and Allaah knows best.
[3]: Here the Shaykh is refering to the hadeeth of ’Aa‘ishah (radiyallaahu ’anhaa) that the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, “What is wrong with people who impose conditions that are not found in the Book of Allaah? Whatever condition imposed and not found in the Book of Allaah is invalid, even if it be one hundred conditions. Related by al-Bukhaaree (no. 2729) and Muslim (no. 1504). This footnote is in the original Arabic text by Aboo Rawaahah.

Translation by Abu Suhayl Anwar Wright

The Noble Shaykh said,

“I have nothing to add in regards to what was mentioned by the Scholars who previously spoke. However, just to return to the order of what was mentioned, it is incumbent to know that we find that all the Ghulaat (extremists) in every time and place, beginning from the time of  the Juhaymaan, then the Haddadiyyah in its initial stage, then the followers of Faalih and then the Haddadiyyah now, which is in its second stage. We know from history that the Scholars of Tawheed and Sunnah, they are those who in reality set out to refute this ghuluww. They suppress and fight against it with evidences and putting up a blockage in front of it.

On the other hand, the method of the people of Ghuloo in speaking ill of Ahlus-Sunnah is also from the ways of old amongst Ahlul-Bid’ah, past and present. This way was used by ’Abdur-Rahmaan ’Abdul-Khaaliq when he used the Juhaymaaniyyah as a bridge in order to attack Ahlus-Sunnah and to war against them. Then also Salmaan al-’Awdah used the Khubaybiyyah as a bridge to attack Ahlus-Sunnah because of what they possessed from extremism, harshness and going beyond the bounds of the rulings of justice and Sunnah. Likewise, when a group arose from the followers of Faalih, the people of Turaath (Ihyaa‘ut-Turaath in Kuwait) and other than them, they took it as a bridge to attack and warn against Ahlus-Sunnah and fight against them.

And the Haddadiyyah today are in their second stage, the intimate adherers of the different groups of partisanship took the same path of those who preceded them from the people of innovation in waging war against the people of Sunnah by way of describing them of being from the Haddadiyyah. The intimate adherers to the groups of partisanship who wish to erase from history an affair which just cannot be erased by a pencil; and this is the Jihaad (struggle) of Shaykh Muhammad Amaan al-Jaamee – rahimahullaah – which was started from the fruits of the da’wah of the three major Imaams of the Sunnah. It became clear by way of the Jihaad of Shaykh Muhammad Amaan and Shaykh Rabee’.

So the intimate adherents to the groups of partisanship seek to totally erase from history the mention of Shaykh Rabee’. For this reason you only find them mentioning “Jaamiyyah, Jaamiyyah.” Where is the mention of Shaykh Rabee’, whereas his life, efforts and his Jihaad has spread much more?

Rather, Shaykh Muhammad Amaan  al-Jaamee – rahimahullah – the fruits of his da’wah did not become apparent and did not spread as they did, except through the Jihaad of Shaykh Rabee’. So today the intimate adherents of the groups of partisanship are repeating their history. Due to this, dear brothers, those who were responsible for organizing this sitting have done extremely well, having wisdom; as it entails a deep, great legislative meaning, which you must pay attention to.

Indeed, the Glorious Qur‘aan, and the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) in their exposing of falsehood, evil and its darkness, they both tread the path of mentioning descriptions and (general) meanings so the Muslim who is taking benefit can benefit the affair of taking caution from the paths of evil, which have been described. Also at the same time, he will be able to implement these general meanings on specific situations. So in the path of clarifying the truth, it is incumbent that two affairs take place: The affair of clarifying general principles so that the Muslim, the person of Sunnah will be upon clarity and the affair of specification.

However, the affair of specification cannot be used in every situation and this is because you have in front of you different groups who have talawwun (they are shifty), they lie and they try to make apparent that they are upon the Sunnah. And Ahlus-Sunnah are those who are the most diligent upon actualizing al-’Adl (justice and fairness), and the rulings that go in accordance with ’adl. So they do not want to be responsible (before Allaah) for any errors so they may refrain from specifying a particular person with Haddaadiyyah, because Haddaadiyyah is a group that has some sort of ambiguity and vagueness. However, there are general descriptions that they have and by knowing these, it is possible for the Muslim, the person of Sunnah to know how to protect themselves from evil, and it is possible to look to the presence of specific qualities in specific people for the purpose of being cautioned from them.

1. The first characteristic: They abandon returning to and attaching the people to the well-known people of knowledge.
2. The second characteristic: Having bad etiquettes and harsh manners.
3. The third characteristic: they deem light the affair of defaming Ahlus-Sunnah and criticizing them.
4. The fourth characteristic is that they have hastiness in their authoring of books, to the point that if one of them read two hours a day, they haste to write three pages and spread it on the internet.
5. The fifth matter, is that they are amazed at themselves and are impressed at their own opinions.
6. The sixth matter is that they follow the peculiar matters (shudhoodh) and they have abnormality in following these matters.
7. The seventh matter: they fall short in implementing the proper order of knowledge based issues.
8. The eighth description is that they do not have an affair – for example we read from the Scholars and we find from the Scholars regarding the affair of making Tahiyyatul-Masjid when entering the mosque before sunset (i.e. as they differ whether they should be prayed or not due to it being waqtun-nahiyy, or the prohibited times of praying, it has been conveyed to us that some of our Scholars refrained for ten years (without a conclusive opinion) due to them pondering over this particular matter. As for these individuals, (the Haddaadiyyah), there is not one issue that they refrain from speaking about (out of piety and reserve).
9. The ninth matter is that they have specific [a word in the recording is unclear] between them and they only direct to themselves.
10. The tenth matter is that they have no concern for the weighing of harms and benefits and not giving the slightest importance to this great foundation which Ahlus-Sunnah are upon and which was mentioned by the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam).
11. The eleventh matter is that they use the foundations of the Sunnah and the Saved Sect as a means of strength for themselves, not as a means to abide by, practice and find guidance thereby.
12. The twelfth characteristic is that they hover around the issue of takfeer even if they do not mention it outright.
13. The thirteenth issue is that they declare ahaadeeth authentic and unauthentic by way of innovation and going to extremes and making ijtihaad which is outside the realm of the ways of the pious predecessors.

So these are some of their characteristics and many of them as you have heard have come in the speech of the people of knowledge, may Allaah reward them, and with this we suffice and Allaah knows best.

And may Allaah send prayers and salutations upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and all of his Companions.”  End of Shaykh Ahmad’s words.

SOURCE: http://soundcloud.com/annahj/24-26

Translation by Abu Suhayl Anwar Wright